I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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