But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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