Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she looked like the before picture.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
