I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
