wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
