you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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