he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
