how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
