new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
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