some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
