I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
