To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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