My nipple is on Facebook.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize