She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I would ride that face into the sunset
You don't make any sense
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