i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
