don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
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I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
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I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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