you would pick up someone in the library
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
