She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
