Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Your mouth is God's brothel.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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