Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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