He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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