does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
