Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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