R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
