Where is the hickey?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
