It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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