No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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