you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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