It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
