What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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