I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Just puked most of my soul out..
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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