you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
