we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
