I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
