i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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