I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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