Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick