Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
