I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
