guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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