My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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