So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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