Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
