we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
