What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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