its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize