that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize