New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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