Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
