Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
