My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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