so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
