Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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