So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize