I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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