..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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