my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Never underestimate the power of titties
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
