I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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