Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
don't judge my taste in strippers
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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